Author Interview: Kaitlyn Pacheco
Kaitlyn Pacheco is the writer behind "I Wanted to Listen to His Stomach, Not Miss Him," a story about how the pandemic affected her relationship with her long-term, long-distance boyfriend. At the time, Pacheco had started working as a magazine journalist in Baltimore, but before she could settle into her surroundings, she found herself living in a strange new world. We caught up with Pacheco nearly three years after her story takes place:
It's been a while since you submitted your story. What are you up to these days?
KP: Since submitting this essay in 2021, I’ve gotten engaged, taken several fantastic essay-writing courses through the Creative Nonfiction Foundation, started a new job, celebrated my favorite people’s birthdays and weddings, started a semi-successful TikTok account, and developed a newfound appreciation for the Midwest.
How has your perspective on 2020 changed since the time you wrote your story?
KP: I started writing this essay during the final months of 2020, shortly before the release of the COVID-19 vaccines. At that point, I struggled to make sense of the many ways my life changed over the course of the first wave of the pandemic. When the initial COVID-19 cases hit, I was living with roommates and working in Baltimore as a magazine journalist, and then I blinked, seven months went by, and I was living in Columbus with my boyfriend and working remotely as a SEO content editor. I had never written a first-person essay before but unintentionally, the process became a way for me to admit and accept that I’m not the person I was before the pandemic.
It’s impossible to think about 2020 and not mourn the lives, jobs, relationships, livelihoods, and opportunities lost that year. Even with all the grief associated with it, I try to recognize that year’s (albeit small) pockets of positivity to keep a balanced perspective.
Your story focuses on how the pandemic actually improved your relationship. What was it like to have a positive experience with the stay-at-home orders while other people grew weary of them?
KP: Well, I wouldn’t describe my experience with the stay-at-home orders as positive. While I loved the opportunity to spend endless amounts of time with my previously long-distance boyfriend, every other aspect of my personal and professional life was in an all-consuming freefall. That emotional dichotomy made it difficult to enjoy the moments I now look back on fondly, like making pancakes together at 1 p.m. and building puzzles on the floor. Like many couples who quarantined together, for every rosy memory we made during the stay-at-home orders, there’s a painful one alongside it.
There have been conflicting conversations and narratives about remote work over the past few years. Do you think remote work is something that should remain a fixture in American work life?
KP: Absolutely. The opportunity to work remotely vastly increases access to opportunities, especially for marginalized workers. That fact alone is enough to close the conversation on remote work’s value to society. Still, it’s worth acknowledging that it promotes a healthier work-life balance, increases time and cost savings, and boosts productivity.
Your work has been published by magazines like Baltimore Magazine and Ohio Today. How does your process for journalistic work compare with that for a personal essay?
KP: I avoided writing first-person essays for many years because I didn’t want to answer the type of questions I asked interview subjects. In my limited experience, the process for conceptualizing and writing a personal essay is interviewing yourself over and over, asking questions until the answers start to fold into a story. I’ve learned to write about myself by approaching it like writing an article about someone who happens to share my name. That way, I can separate her thoughts, feelings, and experiences from my own for long enough to write them down and organize them into a narrative.
What is the best thing you've read recently?
KP: I’m trying to devour as many essay collections and memoirs as possible as I work to grow as a first-person writer. With that in mind, I can’t stop thinking about Against Everything by Mark Greif, The Yellow House by Sarah M. Broom, and Body Work by Melissa Febos.
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